It happened this past weekend.  My eleven year old daughter asked me if I had ever stolen anything.  Oh boy.  But after I took a deep breath, I realized that my experience would be a great thing to share with her because I did learn from it.

I was about the same age as my daughter is now.  My neighborhood friend and I were finally old enough that we were allowed to go places on our own.  Our all time favorite place was “the mall”.  Funny how not much changes!  Back then, our mall was not very big, certainly didn’t have the number of stores today’s malls have, and it wasn’t even enclosed!  But, it was the shopping mecca of the area with enough stores to keep us entertained, even if we were just looking in the windows.  The anchor stores there was Kresge’s, and while it has long closed its doors, it was yesterday’s version of Walmart, although much smaller in size.  One of the coolest things was the Kresge’s food counter where if you ordered a banana split, you then got to pick one of the many balloons tied behind the counter and pop it to see what the price of your banana split would be!  Prices ranged from the most expensive, the full menu price of one dollar and twenty five cents, to a bargain deal of just ten cents!

Kresge’s was one of our regular hang outs.  It had everything a young girl could want to look at and had things we could afford if we were smart and saved up our allowance money.  We would look at the clothing, the cool new tights, the toys, the cheap little gizmos that all kids are attracted to, and then there was the make-up section!  And that is where my story really begins.

I wasn’t allowed to wear make-up.  Some of my girlfriends were and we thought they absolutely had the coolest of moms (of course, they really weren’t, but I didn’t know that until much later!)  Even though I wasn’t allowed to wear make-up, I knew something about it and had a little stash of used things I had either been given by my friends or salvaged from the bathroom trash because my mom was throwing it away.  It wasn’t a great collection, but it was mine.  My friend’s collections all had something new in them because they would spend their allowance from time to time on a cool piece of make-up; bright red lipstick, the coolest berry blush or the newest shade of green mascara!  I never did because my mom always knew just how much money I had and was always asking me what I spent it on.  I knew if I bought make-up with it I would have to lie to her.

This one day I was angry with my mom.  I was more than mad, I was furious!  I honestly can’t remember now what I was so mad about, but I do remember I was the maddest I had ever been at her!  I also remember getting sympathy from my friend, so it definitely was something I had a right to be angry about!  And I remember that I didn’t care about what I was allowed and what I wasn’t allowed any longer, and here we were at Kresge’s, in the make-up section and there was the newest shade of hot pink lipstick and I was going to buy it!  And after I bought it I hoped my mother asked me what I had spent my allowance on because I was going to pull out that hot pink lipstick and show her “THIS!  This is what I bought!  And it is mine and I am keeping it!”   I do remember feeling and thinking all those things, I really do.  The only problem was that I didn’t have enough money to but the hot pink lipstick.  My friend didn’t have any money at all, so borrowing from her was out of the question.  I was determined that I was going to have that hot pink lipstick, so, when I thought no one was looking? I slipped it into my pocket.  I stole it!

Right after I did that, I broke out in a very cold sweat, immediately sidled up to my girlfriend and urgently steered her toward the exit door!  I was sure no one had seen me, but that wasn’t offering me any piece of mind.  That hot pink lipstick was burning a hole in my pocket and while I knew I had just done the unthinkable, there was no turning back!

Well, it is quite obvious I got caught.  It wasn’t anyone that saw me down on the floor either.  As my luck would have it, the janitor (the only name we knew for floor sweepers or anyone who did that type of labor) was in the upstairs offices behind the one way mirror and saw the whole thing.  Went to the store manager right away and just as I was pushing my girlfriend out the exit door he arrived to greet us with the dreaded, “One moment there girls.”  I knew I was cooked.  I knew there was no way out.  I did quickly think of suggesting it just “fell into” my pocket and offering him an “imagine that” statement.  But I knew it would never fly and I knew I could never really pull it off!  So, before the manager spoke another word, I fessed up.  I had tears in my eyes (those were real!) as I pulled out the hot pink lipstick, told him what I did, that I had never done anything like this before and I would certainly never do anything like this again and, “Please sir! Please, don’t call the cops!”

I think the store manager was all of 20 years old and I gave him his first experience of true authority.  He was fair however; did not call the police, but as expected, did call my parents.  Mom had to come down, meet with the manager, then meet with the manager and myself before I was free to go home with her.  I remember feeling such shame and such regret.  I remember thinking that I was so lucky not to have been arrested!  I remember swearing to myself that nothing should ever make a person do something they know is wrong, and that I would never ever take something just because I want it! And I remember wondering what the heck my punishment would be once I got home.

The ride home was a very quiet one, as you can imagine.  My girlfriend was very concerned and while she wanted to offer me some kind of condolence, she was smart enough just to remain quiet and thank my mom for the ride when we got to her house.  I was quite amazed to hear my mom's “normal” voice as she wished her a good afternoon and telling her to say hi to her mom.  Then silence again.  I think the silence was the hardest part.  My mom is not usually the silent type and I was certain it wasn’t because she had had run out of things to say!

We got home and after apologizing again, I meekly asked my mom what my punishment was.  My mom reached into her pocketbook and removed the tube of hot pink lipstick. “I paid the manager for this.  I want you to put it on top of your dresser.  You are not allowed to wear it, but I want you to think about what you did and what could have happened every time you look at this tube of lipstick.  Go now, and that is all.”

I originally thought I got off lucky.  That wasn’t any kind of punishment!  I couldn’t have been more wrong if I had said it was midnight at lunchtime.  That tube of lipstick haunted me for months!  And when I thought it safe to “hide” it away, would come back home from school and there it would be on top of my dresser staring me in the eyes again!  Needless to say, I have never stolen another thing in my life.  I certainly did learn my lesson. 

My daughter listened with great interest and at the end of the story agreed that the punishment my mom chose was far worse than any other she could have given.  She smiled at me and said, “Thanks mom.  I just learned my lesson too, because I know you would do the same to me if I ever stole anything and that would be the pits!”  Then she added, “And you would probably even make me pay for it too!”   Smart kid!

I am the eldest child of three and the only female. I graduated High School in the bicentennial year of 1976. Feminism was in full swing and woman had as many opportunities as men. My high school curriculum was the same as 90% of my peers - college preparation. I really had no desire to go to college. My dream was to be a wife and a mom. The only problem with that was I was not in a serious relationship (nor do I think I would have been allowed one) and um, yeah, pretty tough to be a wife and mom without the other half. My next desire was to join the Peace Corp. I wanted to explore our world while giving back to others. I was unattached, young, healthy, intellectual, kind, generous and hard working. I know that is what the Peace Corp wanted. I know they wanted me! But I never got the opportunity to consider this. My parents would not hear of it! College. I was going to college.

I came up with a plan. I would choose the most expensive, the most elite, the most prestigious school I could and present that as my college choice. I knew there would be one year that all three of us “kids” would be in college at the same time resulting in a huge financial burden. This would make them listen to me! So, I did just that. I presented them with a vision of attending Wheaton College. Wheaton is an all girl school that met all my criteria. To my amazement, my parents simply nodded in appreciation and suggested I go for it. What they knew, that I had forgotten to consider was, Wheaton accepted the elite of the elite. My high school grades were acceptable but more along the lines of average. I believe to this day it was a grand effort on my part and am sure it would have had the desired results, if I had been an academic achiever.

I did go to college. One of the better state schools because it was affordable (I got that part right!) I graduated with a college degree in Education. I haven’t done much with it, mostly because the teaching industry wasn’t hiring the year I graduated, or the next three. I am not complaining. I have done a lot of wonderful things in the 30 years since, but I have often times wondered, “What if I had been a Peace Corp Volunteer?” I know I could have been one.